I've gained a few kilos so what?

I’ve gained a few kilos so what?

Growing up I’ve never had weight issues, I was always the slim one in the family. I never thought I would gain more than 10kilos, well life has its own surprises.  I started gaining weight when I turned  21 ,at first I couldn’t deal with it ( I mean I eat three times a day, sometimes four times a day) I couldn’t deal with the sudden weight gain . However I have learnt to embrace who I am and how I look, what irks me is the nasty comments I get. I'm not obese, I don’t have detrimental health issues (maybe one or two health conditions which I’ve accepted). One would then wonder where does this post come from, well I decided to post about this issue because I know I’m not the only one who goes through this.  Well I felt the pressure of losing weight when I was graduating, I had to follow fitness channels on You Tube, I had to exercise (which can be daunting for me, don’t get me wrong there’s nothing wrong with exercising) and following a no carb diet (which is not advisable, a balanced diet is very important) because I allowed people‘s opinions to control my mind and deter me. These opinions led to me having low self-esteem. 

Women face a lot of judgment and discrimination when it comes to weight gain or even weight loss. A woman is supposed to look a certain way in order to get attention from men. Not only does the discrimination come from men, even us as women we judge each other and we look down upon each other. If you ask me it’s not even a big deal, it’s just hyperbolic statements which 90 percent of the time don’t come from a good place. Obviously I won’t look the way I was ten years ago, so what is so amusing about me gaining weight. Instead of being happy to see me the first comment a person makes is ende usuyisdudla/you've gained weight , this statement makes me feel so uncomfortable. I came across an interesting meme on Facebook which states 
                                             Dear Black people, you’ve gained weight is not a greeting.

I bumped into an old friend in the CBD and the first thing he said was “ I could hardly recognize you , you’ve gained weight my gosh” he had to exaggerate by saying “my gosh” I was bothered by this statement , he kept on emphasizing . In my mind I was thinking “okay I get it geez”. My sisters can attest to this no woman likes being reminded about how much they weigh or how much weight they've gained because we are well aware and we see ourselves in the mirror daily.

You can’t control what people say or think, it’s important for people to be aware that you don’t know what another person is going through and the nasty comments might just throw someone over the edge. It’s not a hard task to compliment another person, at the end of the day it’s not about how a person looks there’s more to life than looks. We wonder where depression and anxiety stem from its how we treat each other as human beings.  In my journey of self-love I had to fight a lot of demons which I am still fighting till this day. 

Here are some ways to gain confidence and fight self doubt

• Embrace your body

This was a hard task for me, I’ve never gained weight  and it’s something which I am trying to get rid of. It doesn’t happen overnight, in the mean time I am learning to fall in love with myself and appreciate what God gave me.

• Dress to kill

Gaining a few kilos doesn’t mean you should neglect yourself, instead dress up that body and conquer the world. When you look good you feel good that’s my motto.

• Don’t seek Validation

We seek validation and its one of the major causes that kill confidence, thoughts of self-doubt start lingering in our minds. It doesn’t matter if you don’t receive compliments on a certain day, instead validate and compliment yourself.

• Ignore naysayers

As I mentioned before, you can’t control what people say or think about you. Negativity is always there and it’s something we can’t run away from. Instead fight negativity by ignoring the nasty comments, you know yourself and the issues you are dealing with in regards to weight gain.

To my fellow sisters who have been judged by the way they look, just keep your head held high and walk confidently. One more thing if you receive that you’ve gained weight greeting, just politely reply “I’ve gained weight so what?” And keep it moving.